What is the Difference between Mind and Brain?

I was curious for a long time about the difference between the mind and the brain. I asked around, but nobody had an answer. So I continued on with life, occasionally pondering the question. Without answers, it became more of a fleeting thought.

Over the last few years, though, I’ve been diving deeper into myself. My experiences have taught me to differentiate between the mind and the brain. The mind is like a river. It needs to flow. If you block it by building a dam, it overflows and drowns the nature surrounding it.

In our case, the brain is that nature, and it’s being drowned by the power and overflow of the mind.

We’ve built a dam around our necks, trapping the mind in our heads. I wonder if this was necessary for the brain's evolution. If the mind hadn't been parked in the head, would the human brain have evolved to where it is today? Would technology and science have reached these heights, and at such speed, without the mind's focused development of the brain?

I don’t have answers to these questions—just perspectives from my experiences. But I see another part of human evolution unfolding right now, and I’m not sure enough people are noticing. We’ve been driving our brains in fifth gear for so long that we’re wearing out the engine. Just look at the rise in mental illnesses. Is it a coincidence that yoga, meditation, and group activities like CrossFit and marathons are gaining popularity? These activities help us reconnect our minds and bodies.

To me, this is our body saying: it’s time to break the dam. The next stage of human evolution is to bring the rest of the body on board—the heart, the gut, everything from the neck down.

How? By sharpening the mind through meditation.

Display in the basement of Rooms Cafe on Ossington Street in Toronto

Many people say, “Meditation isn’t for me—I can’t stop thinking.” But meditation is exactly for those who can’t stop thinking (myself included).

Yoga, CrossFit, and running are amazing for connecting with the body, but they aren’t enough. Meditation sharpens the mind. Once learned and embraced, it takes us to the next level—full mind-body connection.

Parking the mind in the head was necessary for a time, but the systems we’ve built (corporate workplaces, for example) are outdated. We’ve lacked the courage and awareness to collectively change the systems we still play in. The importance of bringing the entire body on board is that, at a mass scale, we can start building systems from the heart and soul, not just the head.

Even religion is being run from the head—not the heart, not the soul. For most of us today, religion serves little purpose because it was designed as a system to access the soul, the spirit, our true being. But we’ve boxed it in the brain, trying to make it logical. Prayers aren’t logical. They’re mysterious and magical.

There’s no access to the soul, to the source, unless our minds and bodies are synced.

My grandmother was my guru. I see clearly now what she was doing. She was a simple woman—no hijab, no fluff, none of the nonsense that surrounds religion today—just simple prayer, five times a day. She used a tasbeeh (prayer beads), which, by definition, involves repetitive utterance of short sentences (thank you, Google). The tasbeeh was essentially a counter. My grandmother repeated mantras.

I only developed this awareness after training in transcendental meditation last year and experiencing the power of mantras. Through meditation and prayer, she opened the doors to the soul and dropped her prayers into the fountain of the Universe.

If we want to reach the level of the spirit—and that’s where we’re headed, whether we like it or not—we need to hit the tipping point of collective awareness. It’s happening, and the seeds are being heavily planted. Those already there are making it rain.

The brain (actually, it’s our ego) tells us meditation isn’t for us. The ego’s sole purpose is to keep the self suppressed. But sooner or later, it will be time for your ego to let your true self play, to break the dam and let the river of energy flow freely.

Parking the mind in our head leaves the rest of the body like a neglected garden, overgrown with weeds. I see meditation as the body’s Weedwacker. It sharpens the mind, resets the being, and clears away the weeds that no longer serve you.

Her Colours

She expresses herself in so many ways, but it’s her non-verbal communication that truly captures me. Her eyes, her smile, and her energy embrace me in such a way that I can’t help but go in for a big hug. She supports me with just a single glance. She’s had my back since day one.

As I write down why I came here—why I spent all this money, travelled thousands of miles to this beautiful land, to stand in a room full of strangers, surrounded by glass walls with views of beauty, trees, sunset, and the sound of birds—I realize there was only one reason. When I wrote it on the large blank white page on the wall, I scribbled as small and faintly as I could, so no one would see, not even me. It wasn’t a conscious choice; I didn’t notice what I’d done until I turned around to look at the other thirty-five people. From halfway across the room, I could read what they wrote, but my own writing? Barely legible.

Costa Rica - Pura Vida Retreat Centre - Goodlife Project Immersion Program 2014

It was a tiny, faint green scribble. I didn’t want any of these strangers to know why I was there. How profound it was to see what my deep internal self had revealed. I’d always felt it, but seeing it written down in this way was like a slap in the face—like someone throwing a bucket of cold water over me. A wake-up call.

I let out a nervous laugh and smiled, the way I always do when I feel uncomfortable. I looked to my left, and there she was, standing beside me, looking up with those big blue eyes, her beautiful head of red curls glowing with perfection, and a beaming smile that said, "I support you. I’ve got you."

That was the moment my journey into the next phase of my life began—a journey where I would finally express my own colours fully and start supporting others the way she supported me.

Watching Over Everything...

I observe and search for my place in this world—or even just this city I call home. Born and raised in Toronto, I’ve had an abundance of friends, yet at one point or another, we drift apart. No path is better or worse than the other; each is just different, played out by the choices we make—or more so, by the choices we don’t. I dance between moments spent in the company of others and those filled with the company of myself, thinking, dreaming, and brainstorming about the next possible steps forward (or, in some cases, backward).

Where will I go from here? So many times in my life, I could have stopped and set up a permanent camp. I’ve lived enough. No need for more experiences and growth. But something always pulls me forward, compelling me to keep climbing Maslow’s ladder. It’s a challenge because I also yearn, almost daily, for a loving partner in my life. Perhaps I need someone who’s willing to live a similar journey, to walk a parallel path with me. A partner with a pull of her own, someone who moves forward when the lessons of the present have been learned.

I dream big—of travelling the world, working from every corner, and impacting everyone I meet with my words, my labor, my hugs, and my energy. I want to lift and inspire others to explore their authenticity, to share their light—because it’s their birthright. I have dreams of having a greater impact on this world, and what better time to do it than now, in a world so interconnected? The impact you and I can have by sharing our light is enormous. I don’t know exactly how it got to this point, but I know we have the ability to stop, restart, and begin fresh today. We have it in us.

Each person who can take a moment to drop into the present has the power to stop, restart, and begin again. We control the volume of the impact we want to make in this world.

Right now, individuals from all corners of this Earth are turning up their volume. It’s happening.

Open your heart. Close your eyes and listen to your heartbeat. Imagine holding a key—a key that unlocks a lock, releasing chains from gigantic doors, the kind you’d find at the entrance of a castle. Picture the chains falling, the doors swinging wide open, and your light shining through. Imagine that light swirling around you, wrapping around your body, filling the room you’re in. Share it with those you love. And then share it with those you don’t. Silently. You don’t have to say anything; you don’t even have to see them. Just hold them in your thoughts, imagining sharing this heart-open energy with them.

Those you think are least deserving of your love are the ones who need it the most. I’ll say that again because it’s essential if humanity is going to collectively evolve. I know it’s hard to love those you don’t connect with or those who’ve hurt you, but doing so will have a profound impact on you, those around you, and inevitably, the world.

To change the world, remember: those you think are least deserving of your love need it the most.

Let's Play

I, like many others, have spent time in the lower vibrational playing ground.

Some have been there so long, they no longer see beyond it.

But soon, we will collectively realize that human potential is only just scratching the surface.

Those who can’t see it yet have a mental barrier, built by both themselves and the outside world. But it won’t be long before it falls.

The light shines through a small peephole. From that tiny opening, each individual will begin to look.

Until staring out that little hole toward the higher vibrational playing ground becomes unbearable, and like I did, they’ll start to chip away and break down the wall.

Come and play.

Once you get here, there’s no going back.

It’s impossible to start seeing, then change your mind and try to unsee what you’ve seen.

Won’t you come and play with me?

Children’s playground in Valencia

Crossroads

I feel something stuck inside of me, an uneasiness in my stomach. I'm not sure if it's mine, hers, or both. She’s going back today. It’s one thing to know what we want and develop courage outside the environment where challenges exist, but it’s another to go back into that environment—into the trenches—and execute the plan, the change we desire. Disconnecting is hard because hearts are broken, and relationships are impacted. That’s why so few do it. We don’t want to get uncomfortable, and we don’t want to hurt others. It’s so fucking hard.

We’re raised a certain way, through the lens of others for most of our lives. When we can no longer live with that queasy, uneasy feeling, we come to a crossroads. Do we maintain the status quo for the sake of others, or do we destroy everything to save ourselves? To reach out and pull ourselves out of the quicksand before it completely engulfs us to the point of no return. What we don’t realize is that if we don’t save ourselves in this lifetime, the next one will be a rerun of the one that preceded it.

So, would you want to live the life you’re living today—the life of suppressing yourself—if you knew that the next life would be exactly the same unless you reach out that hand and rescue yourself?

Hell, to me, is repeating a life lived unauthentically, living for others at the sacrifice of our own self. The biggest misconception is that focusing on the self is selfish, that we should help others and place their needs above our own. But our capacity to love and help others is limited by our capacity to love and help ourselves. We can’t fill others' tanks while ours is on empty.

I feel better after getting this out. I think I’ll type it to her. It will be the last journal entry she receives before her flight. Is it possible that I already love her? Is it possible that all these random little moments connected us? If someone is guiding and helping me, thank you. Thank you for the guidance, for the little nudge in the right direction. So many mini crossroads, and fortunately, I was encouraged to flow in the direction of this woman who captures my heart.

The Sun that Never Sets

What do I do with this open heart? How do I keep it open, and how do I show up in the world now with this current state of being?

I want to show up the same in all areas of my life, with an abundance of love—in business, with friends, and with family.

To keep her in my heart, holding on to that feeling. My memories of her may fade, but I hope the feeling remains.

I want to hold on to both—the memories and the feeling—long enough for her to arrive fully into my arms. To walk into the world with this feeling as if she were already mine not just for one night, but for eternity.

She is with me, by my side, supporting me through every adventure I step into. She is the sun that never sets, always there, embracing me through the good and the bad. She loves all of me.

I look forward to the possibility of grey turning into black and white.

Rocking Vulnerability: Embracing Fear and Finding Evolution

I've been reading and listening to Brené Brown's work for a couple of years now, and I've also been consciously practicing vulnerability. But yesterday, I took it to a whole new level. I was nervous all week, trying to prepare for this talk—it was uncharted territory. The last time I gave a speech was in grade 7. I made it to the gym and almost competed with other schools. My buddy Dave won; he was the better storyteller. Now, at 39, I'm a much different man (thank God). If I were the same, that would be a whole other problem.

Last night, I stood up in front of 150 strangers, some of whom were friends and family I had invited. I face-planted with a level of vulnerability that would have made Brené Brown proud. I was in the arena. I got up and wiped the dust off, and today was a brand-new morning. Even though I forgot most of my speech, I felt fucking good. That doesn't mean my self-talk was all positive. Absolutely not. I'm human.

My initial thoughts were that I had disappointed Greg, who runs the Toronto chapter of ManTalks and invited me to speak. I also disappointed Conner, the founder of ManTalks, and I disappointed the audience. They took time out of their Monday evening for this event, and I choked. I got stage fright. I tried to compose myself and start over. I'd get going, then get stuck again.

Finally, I just gave up and admitted to everyone that I had completely forgotten what I wanted to say and share. Afterward, my mind raced with all the things I wanted to say but didn't—all the experiences I could have shared in the hopes of inspiring others to begin the process of looking inward and connecting with themselves because lasting confidence and deep connections begin from within.

Yes, it could have been better, and yes, I could have rocked it. But there were lessons I needed to learn, and I'm glad I learned them early—on a big stage. Being in this area of public speaking, I know the size of the stage I want to strive for. I know the level I eventually want to play at. And I will say, by no means was this a small stage. Sponsored by Samsung, with a wicked ass stage, purpose, and the best part—a wonderful audience.

I was thinking about a quote by Jamie Foxx during his interview with Tim Ferriss. He said, "Do you know what's on the other side of fear? Nothing." I loved that, but I would take it to another level.

On the other side of fear is evolution.

We have been taught to see fear as something to conquer, but it turns out that fear is something to embrace. The same goes for failure. If you don't fail, how do you receive clarity on which direction to head? Failure is a beautiful compass that guides us toward our highest potential.

I want another shot so badly. I'm opening myself to the Universe right this minute. My heart is open and ready. Dear Universe, I'm ready to play BIG.

I don't know where this culture of perfection and the need to always look good to the outside world came from while we struggle and sit in pain in our internal world. It stunts the evolution of humanity and keeps our hearts closed. I'm sure there was a moment in history when we were required to close up, but honestly, I don't give a fuck. Where we stand right now is what's important. We all need to encourage each other to embrace walking in spaces where there's potential for face plants. It forces us to reflect and look inside ourselves.

I cancelled cable at 25. Do you know why? First, I was falling asleep on a hand-me-down IKEA sofa when I had a kick-ass mattress I paid enormous amounts of money for in the other room. The other reason was I was watching all these people, whether in fiction or nonfiction, living their lives while I wasn't living mine. When I turned off the tube, I had no choice but to get creative with my time. I met my first girlfriend, who gifted me my first book, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, which happened to change my fucking life. He talks about living your legend and how it should be your sole purpose—discover your personal journey and walk your path. This also led to my love of reading. Wow, there is actually a book and author out there that I could love. I always thought I hated reading, but in reality, I hated what the academic world was feeding me. Do you know we are still teaching Shakespeare? Are you kidding me? Our world is not ending; it's just stale, with the same old ways and messages. We need to liven it up by stepping into the unknown and identifying our own journey.

Do you know why people don't like meditation? It's not for the reason many say, which is, "I just can't sit down and quiet my mind." I had an aha realization. It's not the quieting of the mind that's the challenge; it's discovering what lies inside that's the challenge. When you begin the process, the goal isn't to calm the mind but to get into your mind, your body—specifically your heart—and then into your soul. When you get that deep, that's when the real shit opens up. That's when you start considering therapy and coaching because you have no choice but to discover your personal journey and purpose. It will rock your world and shake you up, but it's so fucking worth it.

Mirroring is the way to grow. Every step you take and every human you connect with is a mirror to you, especially in romantic relationships. I dated women who had no problems holding up those mirrors. There were mirrors everywhere! Eventually, I got the point and headed to therapy.

Therapy changed my life. It allowed me to open up and air out all the old scabs that never healed properly.

You know, I have this thing called Nexus. It allows me to bypass the line at the airport simply by scanning my eyes, generating wonder, awareness and curiosity. It reminds me how unique I am and how important it is to stay on my path, discover my personal journey, and unlock and reveal the portals within me. We have yet to reach the peak of our capacity. People talk about how the world is ending. I believe we are just beginning. So don't worry about the outside noise; don't pay too much attention. Decrease the external volume and increase the internal volume.

If you ever question your unique nature or authenticity, think about your iris and your fingerprints. There are seven billion-plus people on this planet, and there's only one authentic you.

Embrace fear and respect the failures because that's where evolution is waiting for you.

Rocking vulnerability feels good. My heart is a little more open today than it was before the talk. I love the path I'm on because I know it's my path to walk.

Open the door. I dare you.

“Where a few great minds once acted, now the entire human race must struggle to save our world from the dangers of its own excess.”

While the world may seem chaotic, it’s merely a sign of the next chapter. We consume all this negativity and then wonder what happened. We base our perception of the world on messages projected from a square box. We ask why there’s so much hatred and violence, but it’s like eating fast food three times a day and then asking, “Why am I so unhealthy? Why did I have a heart attack?” We are all participants in the cycles of negativity and responsible for every act of violence. We mindlessly consume information from the outside and allow it to dictate how we show up in the world. It’s time to let the external world reflect each individual’s authentic internal self.

We fixate on the Saints and Prophets of the past and look to the future with the hope of better times, but in doing so, we ignore the human potential of the present. We turn a blind eye to our own abilities and power. We all have it. We all know and feel it—that deeper, underlying uneasiness, a sense that there’s something greater. If we simply open our eyes fully, we’ll see that an internal evolution is happening. No longer will there be just a handful of Saints and Prophets, but an endless number.

Stop looking outward and turn your gaze inward. That’s where all the answers lie. Expanded consciousness and awareness reside within, just waiting—waiting for you to pay the tiniest bit of attention so they can soar. Crack open that internal door. I dare you.

Three Access Points to the Depths of YOU

I think a lot about the three access points/layers: the body, mind, and spirit. To live a happy life from the inside out, we need two out of three functioning optimally to reach a high level of happiness and present life satisfaction. If you can get all three going, you will reach some next-level success and wisdom.

How do we do this? We exercise the body, mind, and spirit. We train to strengthen the pillars of who we are. Meditation is how I maintain my balance and clarity and experience expansion.

Firstly, I find it easier to live a human life because I live in equanimity, creating space to allow the flow of energy. This enables me to be more adaptable in my external life.

Secondly, meditation allows access to my spirit. The clearer the mind, the easier it is to access my spirit and all the intelligence within and through it. I know it’s a little out there if you’ve never experienced meditation or a spiritual practice, but I promise it is accessible to all. You are accessible to yourself (if that makes any sense). You are an oil field waiting to be tapped, but the only person who can tap into you is, you guessed it, YOU.

Some people have a challenging time accessing or purifying the mind. Their life experience is so intellectual that their minds are stuck in their heads, and breaking the dam to get into their bodies is emotionally and physically painful. So, the best way to do it is to take the back door directly to the spirit.

Welcome to the world of Psychedelics or Religion. You pick and choose what feels suitable for you. There is no one right way; there is no one right path. There is no single path to reach your destination, which is the purification of the mind. It’s your path and your choice as to how you want to reach that destination. More importantly, it’s also your choice whether you even care about reaching that destination and discovering the depths of you.

I remember when a friend shared with me that she knows where the path to self-discovery leads, the path to the purification of the mind and access to her spirit, but she made a conscious decision to say, “I’m not ready; I love my external world and all the goodness that comes with it.” I have an abundance of love for people who make these types of conscious decisions.

It’s your body, your mind, your spirit. It’s your choice.

If the mind is difficult to reach, you can tackle it from both body and spirit. The purification process will be a lot more efficient. My ultimate goal is to run optimally from all three areas. The combination of body and spirit purifies the mind from above and below. It’s like cutting weeds from the top (physical exercise) and simultaneously pulling the roots out from below (spiritual practices such as prayer or psychedelics).

Once we reach the purification of the mind, all dissolve, and spirit, mind, and body synchronize and melt into one, leading to infinite intelligence. I wish there was a magic pill to reach and maintain this state, but there is not. It requires multiple lifetimes of work, although we are in a collective global self-discovery mode, putting the process of waking up on a fast track, and it is beautiful to witness.

Regardless of what is occurring in the mainstream media, or any media for that matter, if you just decide to turn it off for a little while, you will begin to see the beauty that I see. My hope for humanity is to turn down the external volume and increase the internal volume. The world wants to see you. The world wants to experience you. The world needs you.

I’ll end with one of my favourite quotes: “You are more powerful than you think; act accordingly.” – Seth Godin

Magnetic love

The pursuit of love remains the most challenging part of my life. Why can't I attain it? Why can't I find it? I'm working so hard toward it. Am I not doing enough? Am I a coward? Am I not open enough? Do I need to be braver? Do I need to get out more? I don't know where to go, and although I can go out and travel on my own, I am tired.

I was ecstatic to find her, to be open enough to receive her, but she wasn’t ready. She doesn't see the possibilities I see. She doesn't understand why she feels what she does. It makes me sad, but I can't stop. I can't give up hope. I can't close my heart. It needs to stay open more than ever. I am close. I feel her. She is near.

The question "What the fuck?" continues to enter my mind. It sits alongside hope in the passenger seat. Fortunately, hope is driving. It's frustrating, but what’s a man to do? I am myself, and I have so much love to give. I have done and continue to do the deep work. I feel that the deeper I go, the more challenging it is to find her at times. She is not your average woman. She is powerful, beautiful, and evolved beyond my imagination.

What should I do? Where should I go? Is there something I've done wrong? These are questions that sit behind hope. They roll around in the back seat. Thankfully, hope is driving.

I have a new theory I will test. I have so much love to give that I need to distribute it by channeling it into more creative projects. I need to put my love into dance again. I need to sing. I need to listen to music. I need to paint and continue to pour my heart out in my writing. I need to love the amazing family and friends in my life today. I need to share my heart, my love, because it is too much for one human to handle.

It's time for more laughter, more dance, and more play in my life. I love the dance between the internal and external as I cleanse the energy lines from the root to the top of the tree. I am learning to live with an open, broken heart. I have so much love to share with her when she arrives. I need to maintain the dance between persistence and patience, between bravery and humility. I need to settle for nothing less than that soulful connection.

We are nervous, we are scared, and most skate on the surface. But if we give deep discovery the time it requires, if we dig a little deeper and explore the seven lines of energetic points first within ourselves, then with the person across from us, we are bound to find that love. It feels like two of the most powerful magnets pulling together. It takes an abundance of energy to split apart. Deep down you know. When you find it, life will reach heights that are unimaginable from where you currently stand.

This is not the time to settle for anything less. This is the time to ask and stay open for what cannot be articulated with words. It can only be felt through emotions that reside within the soul and are communicated through the heart. The mind has no say. Logic is irrelevant. Keep rational thoughts out of this. There are no algorithms to measure this connection, this love.

Many of us are so closed, like robots walking aimlessly, attempting to connect through lists generated within our minds—either on our own or based on the expectations of our tribe and society. Put away those formulas; they are useless if real love, real connection, and genuine happiness are what you seek. Open your heart. Living with a closed heart is the same as being six feet under.

What's the point? Open up, baby. Let's play, let's dance, let's love.

I imagine her in my life. I imagine walking behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist, moving her hair to one side, kissing her cheek, and then softly kissing her neck. I turn her around, look into her eyes as our bodies exchange energies, spirits lifting each other. I softly kiss her beautiful lips. I am in search of love that cannot be articulated with words.

Woodbine beach. I see that which I yearn.

Conscious Mediocrity - The struggles of asking for what I truly want

Over the past year, I've dedicated myself to understanding what I don't want. I've learned to listen to my heart and soul, trust my intuition, and not feel guilty about saying no. Now, I've realized it's time to learn how to ask for what I want. I'm not entirely sure what this process entails, but I know it will require courage and clear communication.

Initially, I thought I needed a course in communication. However, as I write this, I realize that my challenge isn't in communicating others' needs but in expressing my own. The question is, why? The simple answer is fear of rejection. This explanation might have sufficed a year ago, but I believe there's more to it.

Growing up, my needs were often overshadowed by those of others. When I voiced my desires, I was met with scolding, dismissal, or a flat "no" without explanation. On the rare occasions I did get what I wanted, it took a lot of hard work and emotional turmoil. Can these childhood experiences affect us as adults? I believe they can.

Recently, a friend recommended I listen to an interview between Robert Augustus Masters and Tami Simon on her podcast, "Sounds True: Insights at the Edge," discussing True Masculine Power. Intrigued, I picked up his book, "To Be a Man: A Guide to True Masculine Power." Masters emphasizes connecting the dots between our past and present. He suggests that our default behaviours during difficult times as children often become our go-to actions in similar situations as adults.

We often justify our behaviours by saying, "This is just how I am." Compounding this difficulty, those close to us tend to reinforce these beliefs. However, many of our habits and self-perceptions are shaped by our upbringing, not our innate nature. My struggle to ask for what I want isn't embedded in my DNA; it's the result of my experiences.

I've been afraid to pursue my desires, both big and small. The numerous "no's" I received as a child makes me hesitate to ask for what truly excites me, fearing disappointment. I have no problem asking for something when I can frame it as being in others' best interests. I'm adept at convincing both myself and others that it's beneficial, reducing the risk of rejection. When I do get rejected, it doesn't hurt as much because it wasn't something I deeply wanted anyway. I call this "conscious mediocrity."

It only stings when I ask for something that truly lights me up because expressing what aligns with my heart and soul puts me in my most vulnerable state.

Me and Jonathan Fields in Costa Rica at his Goodlife Project Retreat. This retreat and program elevated my life beyond mediocrity.

Finding myself through conformity

Compliments and praise... Receiving them is more difficult than criticism for me. In my twenties, if someone complimented me, my ego would be fed and there would be a temporary extra pop in my step. When someone complimented me in my thirties, it was so difficult to receive that it would result in mini throw-ups (this stems from not feeling good enough).

In my mid-twenties, I moved out on my own for the first time. Late for the Western world, unacceptable in the Eastern world. Eventually, I canceled cable, met my first girlfriend, and had my first real travel experience without family—one week which I spent on my own. My girlfriend gifted me "The Alchemist," which I still have with me today. Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, and Neale Donald Walsch helped me work on dissipating my ego and peeling off the layers of crap that others had draped over me.

My second girlfriend, first love, and first heartbreak took me to an entirely different level of feeling. She broke my world—and for the better. The relationship made me go inside and look deep within and ask the question: WHO AM I? WHO AM I? WHO AM I?

I have no degree; I am half-assed at everything. Heck, I don't even have a high school diploma. No connection with religion, not a criminal, not feeling fully Canadian, Muslim, or Indian. If I am none of these things, then WHO THE HELL AM I? I had so many social norms to look up to, but none of them fit. In every area of my life, I felt like a square peg in a round hole. I didn't identify with any of the worlds, and with utmost certainty, everyone had laid out as a matter of fact who I needed to be. Without it, I wouldn't succeed in life, I wouldn't reach the heavens, and I would probably end up as a bum in this life and in hellfire in the next. So much to look forward to. God was mad at me. Teachers were mad at me. My parents were mad at me. WHO THE HELL AM I?

Not fully fitting into my religious world, my Indian world, and the Western world resulted in not feeling good enough. So, what do you do when you don't feel good enough? Conform, conform, and conform to all three worlds around me. I was partially religious, not religious enough, partially Canadian, not Canadian enough, partially Indian, not Indian. I want to say I was partially academic, but I am three credits shy of a high school diploma. Those who knew I didn't have it continued encouraging me to return. From a societal sense, I understood the importance, but internally, I didn't want to go back because I didn't understand why I needed it to be successful.

I worked in my father's business, in retail, in warehouses, did a little bussing, sold flowers, and did some telemarketing too. I eventually did a $17,000 six-month IT course, which resulted in a $40,000 job at Citibank. The investment paid off for me. I thought, this is it! At 25 years old, I landed a $40,000 job at one of the largest banks in the world with no high school diploma. It felt like I hit the jackpot. I moved out, travelled, started dating, and had sex for the first time (I was a little late to the party).

Did I love my job? No. Did I love the people I worked with? Hell yeah. They were this new, awesome community that is still a part of my life today. I grew out of my job quickly. I pretended to love it because I didn't know who I was. I think many of us don't know who we are until later in our lives, and that's if we are lucky. If you don't know who you are, don't worry. Keep chipping away. The only thing you should not do is sit on your ass. Trust me. I tried it, and nothing good or bad came from it. Life isn't going to push you to start. You have to push yourself and explore the internal and external worlds. Experiment.

Working at Citibank helped me gain social acceptance. When I was asked the question "Where do you work?" I proudly responded with, "I am an Operations Analyst with Citibank!" Usually, the person asking the question would beam with approval. I would be lying if I said it didn't feel good. I was fitting in for the first time in my life and felt accepted. "Citibank is a great company. Good for you," they would say. My ego and external self enjoyed this approval. I made it. I was a part of the corporate world. I had successfully been accepted into the club of conformity.

Around the third or fourth year of being part of the club of conformity, my soul began to get restless and agitated to the point that it would no longer come into the building with me. It would stay outside the revolving door, waiting for me to finish my day (or come out for lunch) to reconnect. It was so hard to quit or get another job because I had zero clarity about my purpose in this world. It took a good friend and colleague to quit before I did. When this colleague of mine quit, I felt completely alone at this point. Not long after, I quit as well. I had no job lined up and had hefty debt and rent to pay among other expenses, but I was young. I mapped out my worst-case scenario, and it really wasn't that bad.

I thought to myself, am I ungrateful? So many people in this world would love to have my job. Am I being greedy by asking for more of myself? In the end, it became so unbearable to the point that staying was more uncomfortable than quitting. If I had stayed, I would have died a very slow death. I didn't have a plan, but it felt so good to quit that place!

Creative Connections

I spent the first part of my day in Tate Modern. I learned something interesting about Museums over the last few years. Walk through it and scan the work; you will have an energetic draw of those works that align with your inner being. Don't try to analyze and make sense of the works. If out of 200 pieces of art - sculptures, paintings, photography, etc, only two or three pull you in, that's ok. It's how it should be. Spend time with those pieces that draw you in, and be there with them because they will open up treasures within yourself. It will inspire you to be more significant and to do greater. If you get this, it will be a trip well worth it. You don't have to see or connect with everything. You don't have to understand, make sense or take pictures of every piece.

I love it when a piece pulls me in and triggers an emotional response from deep within, sometimes even making my hair stand. Others inspire me to do something to evolve, to draw to paint, and other pieces generate new ideas from the heart and soul.

Rick Rubin discusses this in his interview with Tim Ferriss. He discusses the importance of exploring other forms of artistic expression to bring out our inner wisdom and creativity. We should be inspired to be greater from the place of the heart and soul. It's where real greatness is generated. 

It could be a song, a lyric, a sentence, a poem, a painting, or a film. The forms of potential inspiration are endless. If you don't know where to start, start anywhere. Don't think about it. Go to the theatre, watch a movie, pop into a museum or check out a concert. 

We are all creative beings, but most of us have had our creativity suppressed and told to be practical instead. What is the logical and rational thing to do? Logic and rationality have their place, but they need to take a back seat to creativity right now. We have suppressed who we are so deeply that the only way to unleash it, take the veil off, and unblock it is through external inspiration. Make it your purpose to find your creative connection. It will lead you to finding yourself, being yourself, and loving yourself more than you could ever imagine, inevitably resulting in loving others more deeply. 

You will eventually find a creative connection so deep that it is like gravity is pulling your creative being out from the dark corners, from under the rocks that have fallen on top of it through the avalanches of societal expectations of logic and rationality. You will have no choice but to express your deepest inner self and share your creativity in forms that align with who you truly are. 

Make those creative connections. It's time now. We need you to come out from under the rubble and shine your creative light. 

Small changes, BIG results

I want to talk about a topic that comes up almost daily, and probably in all of yours. Whether it's a podcast, a conversation with friends, a Facebook post, or other forms of media, it's always there. What am I talking about? I am talking about food. Everywhere I turn, I am advised on what to eat and what not to eat, and depending on who you talk to, the list of foods is vastly different.

I have been known for years to sleep anytime and anywhere, including in class, at parties, at work (close your eyes, but make sure your hand is on your mouse and you are facing the computer screen), and even in clubs. This has generated many nicknames, but my favourite one is "furniture." When I was young, everyone thought it was genetic because my father and uncles were the same. When I was a teen, people thought I was on drugs. As an adult, the diagnosis was sleep apnea.

Who grew up eating cereal? Who still eats cereal? I haven't done any surveys, but I will go out on a limb and say almost all of you grew up eating cereal, and many of you still kick-start your day with a bowl. For me, after a bowl of Vector (or any other cereal, for that matter), I would be starving and exhausted by the time I reached the office. About two years ago, after a conversation with my cousin, I decided to shift from a bowl of cereal (oh, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, how I miss you) to a bowl of oatmeal to start the day. According to my cousin, oatmeal is digested slower and might eliminate my crashes.

My favorite drug of all is Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

Honestly, I would wake up every morning with a ton of energy. By 11:00 a.m., all I wanted to do was sleep. I would also crash in the afternoons. It got so bad in the last few years, especially with all the demands from the business, that I would make frequent stops in mall and plaza parking lots to get a 20-minute power nap. In the winter, I knew which underground garages were warm enough for a quick nap. Also, I admittedly have fallen asleep at red lights. Crazy, right? It wasn't genes, it wasn't drugs, and it wasn't sleep apnea. It was cereal. At around the age of 35, I stopped eating cereal in the mornings, and it completely changed my life. Hello, oatmeal, and goodbye, Vector!

One small shift, and my life changed. I'm not one to dwell on the past, but I can't help but wonder how I would have performed in all areas of my life, especially academically and physically, if I had made this change earlier. Today, I'm thinking clearer, sharper, and bigger than ever before and haven't slept in a parking lot since.

I'm not a nutritionist or a health specialist, but the experience above has made me very mindful of how I fuel my body. Every time I eat something new, I pay close attention to how my body reacts. Is it fueling me or draining me? I'm curious to know if any of you have had similar experiences with food and, whether it's food intake or some other area of your life, what small changes have you made that have elevated your life to new heights?

Cheers to small changes and big results!

Over time, I evolved from oatmeal to a breakfast of eggs, avocado, and salads, which resulted in even more energy throughout the day!