Talib Hussain 7/4/25 Talib Hussain 7/4/25

I Want to Kiss

In this moment, I will not be taking anything.

Just me, this page, a matcha latte.

I feel the energy moving in my heart space, the center of my chest. My tongue is pressed against the top of my mouth, the tip of my tongue pressed behind the back of my two front teeth.

Energy flowing in my throat, a cooling sensation that is moving upward, dripping onto my tongue, wanting to pour out. I want to kiss. I miss kissing. My favourite pastime.

A lover comes to mind.

No one to kiss in this moment.

How else can I express this love yearning to pour out? What if I never meet someone?

What would I do with this energy and love?

How can I express it and share it other than making love to a woman?

Why would I even contemplate this?

It’s not an either-or; it’s about everything.

The Earth below and the Universe above.

Meeting within the centre of my vessel.

Talib Hussain 11/13/24 Talib Hussain 11/13/24

Unfulfilled Yearning

Three Americanos yesterday. I was buzzing and didn’t sleep till 1:30 a.m. I watched a few episodes of This Is Us, and it ignited some ancient emotions inside me.

A sadness, a longing for the family I haven’t yet had in this life.

I love the way the show moves between past and present. It inspires me to weave my own memories, to explore the threads of my own story.

I love that the desire to have a family has returned. I don’t think it ever really left. I just tucked it away, deep into unlocked drawers within me.

It’s something we all do with unfulfilled yearning. It’s too disruptive in day-to-day life to carry these longings openly, letting them sit on top of our hearts and minds. Some we save for another day, others we save for another life. And some yearnings rise back up from the depths of our soul to remind us that they need to be lived now, in this fleeting blip of a moment.

So I open myself to the desires that won’t wait for another day, for another life, and I pray for another chance. I pray for courage. Life has gifted me many chances, but I spent so much of this life moving through the world with a ball of confusion around my heart, clouding my mind and smothering my truth.

A fear birthed out of chaos. I chose what I feared less, which created an illusion of safety. An illusion that had no legs to carry me toward what I most yearned for, a yearning that couldn’t be saved for another day.

This longing reminds me that it will come with its own beautiful chaos—a love that I’m now ready for, as ready as one can be for something so grand.

It’s not that I’ve hardened my heart; rather, I’ve softened it. I’ve learned to embrace, endure, and appreciate the cracks that formed rivers from broken experiences.