I AM

I AM, I AM, I AM.

This is what's in my mind, but I still don't know exactly what it means. There are many meditations around I AM. I'm open to understanding, but if somebody asked me about it, I wouldn't know what to say. Maybe when I say I AM, I'm saying that I am everything, or maybe it's just that I AM as you see me in this present moment. I'm simply just AM. There is nothing more, there is nothing less. I’m nothing more and nothing less than what you see right now.

I simply AM.

This brings me to presence. To be present. A part of my mind is wondering what we are going to do after this, even though it knows the routine. It knows we’ll use the washroom, shower, get ready, eat some food, and head to a cafe.

But it wonders and wanders.

Nosara, Costa Rica

It's focused on the next instead of the present. It’s always tugging at the mind, sometimes gently, sometimes more aggressively. It’s hope, hope that if we go out there, we will find her. We certainly won't find her in this 594-square-foot condo. Here, it is just me being. Just me I AMing.

Her.

Who is this mysterious her? Is it one person, or am I—this part that tugs at my mind—seeking an idea of her? Ideas are fleeting. Ideas are always changing. Ideas are the opposite of stable. Even if you catch an idea, it is just an idea, like a seed is just a seed.

Now, I am someone who has many ideas, but maybe I need to focus on the idea of one. Like I’m focused on the idea of one project. Focusing on one idea is opening up multiple paths within my heart and mind. Focusing on one idea is generating energy that flows in many directions while I’m just I AM'ing.

The energy that accompanies focus is the water that nurtures the seeds.

I know it's confusing. Which I am, am I? The little or the big? It’s hard to tell. I’m still figuring it out myself. But I’ll let you know as soon as I know exactly who I am.

Giving Birth to Consciousness

This piece was inspired by a recent conversation with a friend: Do we have enough health and wellness practitioners? Enough alternative healers? The short answer is no—we don’t. The longer answer is that we're far from balancing the scales. Look at the health and wellness field compared to the industries that keep us in unconscious cycles—food, pharmaceuticals, media, and work environments. Just step into a grocery store, liquor store, or notice the number of fast-food spots and bars filling up daily in Toronto. We have a lot of evolving to do to reach a higher vibrational state, to live more consciously.

So, what is consciousness? It’s being present, making decisions in the now for the now. It’s hard, I know. Even after years of my own growth, I still have my unconscious moments. Living in a city filled with endless temptations, I say I dance between two worlds. My aim is to dance in the conscious world most of the time, and, hopefully, one day, fully.

When I indulge in unconscious consumption—processed food, sugar, or a night out drinking with friends—it pulls me down into a fog. The moment feels great, but the day or two after? I'm in a low-energy, detached state. As my friend Anam says, we’re borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

There’s a growing list of healers—naturopaths, nutritionists, energy healers, bodyworkers, meditation and yoga teachers—who aren’t recognized by outdated systems of government and insurance. Why? Because embracing these healers would disrupt industries with deep financial roots in food, medicine, and pharmaceuticals. Those in power play a short-term game, focused on immediate gains. I don’t blame them; change is scary, no matter how much planning goes into it. But an unknown future is better than a stale, outdated present.

It may seem like alternative healers are abundant, but in reality, they barely scratch the surface of what’s needed. As more health and wellness practitioners enter the field, we'll start seeing support from governments and corporations because, currently, many can’t afford holistic options outside what insurance covers. Instead, people turn to drugs from the pharmaceutical industry because that’s what’s accessible.

So, how do we get insurance companies and governments to invest in proven holistic approaches? By encouraging more practitioners and keeping open minds.

Alternative healing is still a new concept to many, but if we want to shift the collective mindset, I encourage you to explore these paths yourself. We’re moving towards a beautiful blend of old and new, East and West. But to evolve as a society, we need to make choices that either move us forward or hold us back.

Earth is like a mother on the verge of giving birth. This new baby’s name is consciousness. And it’s the healers I mentioned who are the doctors, guiding this birth, holding the Earth’s hand, urging her to push. We see the head; we hear the cry. But there’s work left before consciousness is fully delivered.

It’s not about old religions.

It’s not about past leaders.

It’s not about clinging to outdated systems.

It’s about you and me.

Let’s give birth to this baby.

Let consciousness scream, dance, and play with us.

Some are fighting this birth, but we can tip the scale. It starts with each of us nurturing our own abilities, discovering and unlocking them. Where to begin? Start by being conscious of where you place your mind. Humanity’s evolution depends on it.

No pressure.