What Will People Think?
Instagram may not be the perfect platform, but I can and will build up my business page. I’ve cultivated the courage to write and share extensively about my life. Dating alone is something I could dive deep into. My mind is looping, cycling through insecure thoughts, but that’s only because I’m being vulnerable in so many areas of my life.
A part of me creates stories—negative ones that have no data or logic. Even if these thoughts were true, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m showing up as my whole self, raw and vulnerable, across all parts of my life: in Ever Evolving, at Sychem, and in my personal life. I’m really putting myself out there, and sometimes, the emotional waves hit hard.
That voice—that one feeding you shitty thoughts, making up stories about people mocking or judging you—is the "what will people think" voice. It's woven deep into your being, but it's not you. It’s the voice of your parents, ancestors, and culture, all passed down through generations. It’s been ingrained into your psyche to keep you small, to stay quiet, not to be vulnerable or disrupt the status quo. It's there to stop you from being truly yourself, to block the freedom of exposing your authentic self to the world.
Business Lessons From a Smelly Fruit
Business is the main meal, and the fuck-ups are the appetizers we never ordered but are forced to eat. It’s only after we fully accept and consume them that we experience the nutrients that follow the failures.
There are beautiful lessons to learn if you open yourself up and embrace these delicious, unwanted appetizers. Here’s another way of looking at it: While in Bali for a yoga retreat, my friend Scott went on and on about a tropical fruit called durian and how delicious it was. But we didn’t have any at the retreat. One, it’s hard to get, and two, it wasn’t allowed on the resort because of its unbearable odor.
It wasn’t until the day we were on our way back to Ubud that our friend Keduk surprised us. We stopped off at the side of the road and exited the van. He bought us durian, but it was tied to the back of the tailpipe because he didn’t want to stink up the car.
Durian Fruit
If you Google durian fruit smell, here’s what comes up: “Its odor is best described as…turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock.”
In business, it’s not as important to avoid fuck-ups as it is to accept their inevitability and learn how to respond when they arrive. Business fuck-ups are kind of like the durian fruit: they’re uncomfortable to hold onto, smell like shit, but taste amazing when you dive in and are one of the most nutritious fruits on earth.
What’s even more interesting is that if you don’t want to walk around with smelly durian breath, the trick is to pour water into the empty durian shell and drink it. The same properties that make you stinky are the same properties that will freshen your breath.
Hmmmm…maybe this stinky little tropical fruit isn’t just a metaphor for business failures but for our entire lives.