Blessings, Infinite Blessings.

“Encircled by splendor in the center of the sphere. Meditate where the body thrills to currents of infinite communion. Follow your senses to the end and beyond into the heart of space.” — The Radiant Sutras

Into the heart of space.

Be present today. Notice the spaces in which you play, the blessings waiting to be seen. How are others fitting into the space? How are you moving through space?

I often underestimate space, its existence and its importance and how it shifts depending on who or what occupies it in any given moment. Space is not static. We change it with our presence, our awareness, our gaze, our words, even our breath.

In a moment, you will leave this space, your new home, and dance in spaces with others. How does your space adapt to you? Observe how you adapt to the space and those within it.

How do I want to move through space? What about the space inside of me? The space inside of others?

Why is it important to cultivate spaciousness in our minds and hearts? How can we hold and flow with ease if we are full, if our minds and hearts are stuffed with what we consume, transmuting us into a dense and weighty object?

How am I breathing?

Happy America Day: Reflecting on Freedom and Responsibility

Happy America Day! It is a dream for some and a nightmare for others.

Are our values and freedoms achieved at the expense of others' suffering? Can we genuinely attain happiness and peace if the answer to this question is yes? Can we choose to be conscious or unconscious of how our money, an extension of our energy, contributes to the suffering of others?

For the first time, are we collectively seeing? We have no choice but to be conscious of our collective unconsciousness.

Freedom

Does my freedom depend on others' suffering?

If my freedom comes from taking the liberty of others, can I indeed be free?

Are we less free or more free? We have freedom of speech (with rules attached) and freedom of movement, but what about the freedom within our minds and hearts?

We complain about our politicians and leaders and blame them, but if this is the furthest distance our voice travels, are we not failing and complicit? I am realizing that complaining about politicians is a waste of time. It does nothing to change the realities we live in.

We have been through many difficult times, but why does this feel different?

Are those in power not a reflection of you and me?

It's similar to the leaders we choose; they cause suffering to others with our money, and we continue to do nothing. It's so much easier to blame a select few, but it's more important to look at ourselves and make the tiniest changes in how we move through the world, think, feel, and love.

It's like our ancestors' gifts and traumas that were passed down consciously and unconsciously. Our ancestors may be long gone, but it is up to us in this present moment to make a choice, right their wrongs, and heal their wounds. Their wounds live within us. If we don't do it, we will pass it down to our children, and if they don't, then their children, and on and on, it goes until someone steps on the brakes.

Are we free across all layers within? To attain pure freedom requires tiny steps towards a full conscious awakening, an opening of our hearts, for a closed heart is no symbol or sign of freedom.

We have all been born into a life of separation and suppression, reinforced and normalized by our families and societies.

Most would see the conflicts today and suggest that the oppressed and displaced don't have freedom. True, they don't have physical freedom to move and be as they please, but they have freedom within their hearts. Although they continue to be traumatized, they even have freedoms within their minds. The oppressors have the illusion of freedom to move as they wish, but their hearts and minds are caged by an ideology that acts as a disguise to serve them.

World Social Forum 2024 Nepal

Whatever feelings you may have about these words, I invite you to take a moment—ideally many moments over many days, weeks, and years, as long as it takes—to reflect on freedom within all four layers of being. Is my body free? Is my mind free? Is my heart free? Is my soul free? What am I a slave to? We are all slaves to something.

What does freedom mean to you? Is your freedom at the expense of another's? Does it need to be this way?

The wars are a reflection of a more significant battle, a battle that lives within our hearts and minds. Don't underestimate the power of cultivating peace, balance, and healing within. The more of us that heal within, find balance, cultivate peace, and open our hearts to ourselves and others, the faster the external will heal. When we free ourselves from the enslavement of the system, we will free those who suffer as a result of us perpetuating the problem by not cutting the chains of capitalistic enslavement.

Don't close yourself off to what is happening out there. You can remain unconscious, but it will become conscious sooner or later—if not for you, then for your children or those yet to arrive. You don't have to complete the work, but we all need to start it.

It's an important day to reflect on freedom because America prides itself on being the land of the free, but at what cost? At whose expense?

Fighting for Freedom Within

The entity without is the same entity within. We can go outside and fight against the injustices in our world, but the injustices also live inside of us. Learn how to bring justice within your own heart, then you can teach, guide, and inspire others to do the same.

What will life be like when we experience justice within our hearts? Are we working to rid ourselves of this entity or looking to heal and become one with it? To work together. How do these seemingly opposing energies inside of us come together? Balance.

If we look at the conflicts of the present moment, they will only attain peace and complete freedom once they come together. Both sides have something to bring to the table. Is this true? Who benefits from this conflict? How are we contributing to those benefactors? What steps do we need to take to take back that which is most precious?

As we celebrate America Day, it's crucial to reflect on what freedom truly means. True freedom is not just about physical movement or speech; it's about freeing our minds and hearts from the chains of ignorance, prejudice, and complacency. Our collective responsibility is to heal our internal wounds, recognize our complicity in societal injustices, and make conscious choices that promote equality and compassion. Only then can we hope to achieve genuine freedom for ourselves and others. This journey begins within, and by taking small steps towards inner peace and balance, we can create a ripple effect that transforms the world around us. Let us strive for a freedom that uplifts everyone, not just a privileged few.

Tearless Cries

I'm beginning to understand that emotional maturity and emotional expression are different things. We can articulate our feelings and still behave immaturely. In my writing, I’m projecting my journey towards greater emotional maturity. I’m learning to express and communicate my emotions better. If I'm happy, I can express it; if I'm angry, I can communicate that too. Now, I can even communicate sadness.

Before, I would suppress sadness with food, drinks, or media. Now, I recognize sadness and feel where it resides in my body. However, I don't know how to release it. Yesterday, I explored this: What happens if I don’t release my sadness? It fills my body with heaviness. This unreleased sadness often leads to despair and sometimes to a depressive state. For a long time, it has taken me there, except for a couple of months ago in India. I know that when I feel heavy inside, movement helps, especially lifting weights. Twenty to thirty minutes at the gym lifts my spirits. I think it’s the combination of movement and the release of endorphins.

Identifying emotions and communicating them to myself and others is a step toward further emotional maturity. But I’m still blocked when it comes to releasing sadness. Somewhere along the path, I suppressed this emotion. Over the years, I've learned that when we suppress one part of ourselves, like sadness, we also suppress its opposite—joy. If I can’t express and release sadness, I can't fully experience happiness and joy.

From the streets of Valencia

I've felt this deeply. There have been times and places, like recently in Valencia, where I could fully express both sadness and joy. Here in Toronto, it's a bit more challenging, but I’m working on it. I am better today than I was a year ago—more emotionally evolved. This means I don’t react to others' actions that trigger past pain. Instead, I can feel the emotion, observe its rise and fall like ocean waves.

These reflections have surfaced as I open myself to dating again and seeking a dynamic, expansive life partner. Someone who understands the layers of being, who has an insatiable curiosity about herself, others, and the world. Someone proactive in her day-to-day life, moving forward and upward.

Observing other couples, I realize there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Advice is based on individual experiences, and every piece of wisdom is unique. I listen, observe, and learn. I admire those who sustain long-term relationships. It’s never easy, yet some couples find a way to return to each other. It’s inspiring. I see that with the right partner, there’s an opportunity for greater freedom than I’m experiencing now.

However, I needed to release the patterns I absorbed as a child. Growing up in a traumatic household, we may intellectually reject it, but our minds are already programmed. We may not want what we experienced in childhood, but we’re drawn to the familiar. I replicated my parents' toxic patterns in my relationships. It took a lot of therapy, coaching, reading, and practices like yoga and meditation to deprogram and start reprogramming myself.

From my last relationship, I realized I was as emotionally immature as my parents and attracted similarly immature partners. Mature partners didn’t work because I wasn’t ready for them. I wasn’t even attracted to them because their energy was unfamiliar to me.

I am getting closer. All this work isn’t just to be more successful in my career or a better friend, sibling, or son. I do it because I’m preparing for her. It’s hard at times, but I know it will be worth the wait when she arrives in my life, and I in hers.

I recently listened to an interview with Esther Perel where she talked about “tearless cries.” This perfectly describes my experience with sadness. Most of the time, I wish I could cry and truly release my emotions through tears. Instead, I either suppress them or try to shake them out through physical activity. But what I really want is an epic, tearful cry.